g i r l s

How to Deal with Crushes

Contrary to Victoria’s surname, she does not in fact “chase” anyone or anything. If anything, people chase after the Chase’s and the same principle is applied to Victoria, just look at her Vortex Club lackeys. Of course they’d follow her, who wouldn’t? She’s popular, efficient, and everything they could only hope to be. Whatever else she didn’t have, she grabbed onto without unnecessary chasing.  If she wants something then she gets it, end of story.

So it’s safe to say that she is most definitely not crushing on Max Caulfield.

Nope, she’s not falling for her waif hipster bullshit and her awkward shy pretense. The girl was short too so Victoria always ends up literally looking down on her and her annoying doe-eyed expression that seem to bring out her freckles. Especially those damn freckles. She would bet that underneath those poorly coordinated bargain clothes that Max had matching freckles on her shoulders which is lame. She’s a walking fashion disaster and Victoria has to stop her hands from tearing away those hideous clothes not because she wants her naked or anything, those clothes are just that terrible.

And her pictures? Selfies! Not even the kind that’s thought through and planned. No, Max just takes ordinary selfies. The kind of selfies that you post on social media and not in art galleries. The kind of selfies that show what her face looks like in the morning where the lighting is just right to add depth to her annoying freckles. The kind of selfies that reveal to Victoria the undeniable truth that Max is kind of cute.

God, she is pining over her so hard.

But she can’t let anyone else know that. See it from her point of view. She’s spent so much into her heartless bitch reputation that she can’t just let go all because of some dumb hipster with a cute face and a good eye for photography. She almost forgot about that part. Max has terrifying skill with the camera even though she doesn’t even know it. Victoria’s photos look amateur even next to some of Max’s selfies. That’s also one more thing she won’t admit out loud.

Max’s talent infuriates her just as much as it turns her on. She makes it look so easy, so effortless. She’s just using her retro-cam and the quality of her photos are worth more than what the best studio can produce. Max is Victoria’s competition and she hasn’t met someone that could fit the rival role so well in terms of skill. She likes to entertain the thought that maybe Max could fit the girlfriend role while at it too. One time she commented on Victoria’s photos being Avedon-esque and Victoria practically swooned inside. Still swooning about that until now.

Victoria is sitting on one of the benches on campus. It’s not like she deliberately chose this particular bench because she spotted the familiar flash and whir of a certain hipster’s camera nearby. It’s Max. Of course it has to be Max, who else? Victoria would never sit on this godawful excuses for furniture if she had a choice. The view helps her forget that her car has better cushioning.

Max is in her element again, with her back at Victoria, taking a photo of whatever. It’s sunset and with it there’s a poignant sense of romanticism painted across the campus. The sun’s rays sift through the trees and fall onto Max just right to give her this ethereal shine. Victoria captures her in the moment without even thinking. It’s only after the click of the shutter does she realize that she’s already looking through the viewfinder. She pulls back and stares at the photo she doesn’t remember taking and then back at the subject in front of her. While the photo was gorgeous like all her work naturally, it could only hope to capture the actual beauty before her.

“She’s so pretty.” Victoria almost sighs dreamily out of earshot.

Or what she thought was out of earshot since Max’s head spins so fast at the catch of her words. She shoots her a confused look. “What?”

And oh, god. Max looks way better with her face showing and she’s wearing that stupid doe-eyed look again and fuck, fuck. Victoria’s brain goes into panic mode. She doesn’t know what to say and it does not help that Max’s face is so distracting. The lighting shifted along with her movement and glistens along her frame and fuck, she looks lame in her clothes but she also looks radiant like what the fuck? And Victoria is still staring and oh, god what should she say?

“I SAID YOU LOOK SHITTY!” She yells at her with too much force to sell the intended spite. Nice one, Victoria. Smooth save. That will definitely tell Max that she is interested in her. Why don’t she go ahead and add some more flirty undertones. “GO FUCK YOUR SELFIE.” There it is. The words come out of her mouth as if on auto. Despite her face sporting a domineering look, Victoria very much wants to hide her embarrassment. It’s a good thing that she can hide her blush underneath her usual layers of anger.

Max looks more confused than offended and Victoria just wishes for her to go away so she could make a dash for her car and scream there. “Okay…?” She asks more than says, as if testing the waters. Victoria can’t help but snarl back just out of reflex and it’s enough to tell Max that the water is boiling and there’s a high chance that it will turn into a bloodbath. She sighs and it almost sounds like she was expecting something different.

Victoria already has plans on berating herself for again ruining another moment with Max and will do so as soon as she walks away but Max has other plans. There’s that bright flash again only this time it’s aimed at her. The whir of the camera isn’t lost to the buzzing in her brain. “Did you just…?” She can’t quite bring herself to finish her sentence, she can’t trust herself anymore.

Max is still in her element, not at all put-off by Victoria’s gaping, it must be the camera. There’s something empowering about holding a camera that makes Max bolder than her usual shy self, not that Victoria would notice that. Max just takes the photo as it develops with her nimble fingers. Victoria could tell the exact moment that it finishes when Max’s face erupts into a smile so wide she doubts it could fit the frame of a photo. “This one’s a keeper.” She shows it to her and Victoria feels her breath catch in her throat.

At first glance, Victoria’s posture in the shot looks intimidating but that’s not the main point. The focus is her face. She thought she was making just another one of her mean looks but evidence speaks otherwise. Her eyes are smoldering as the swathes over her and it almost makes her look warm. Warm and inviting. She can’t tell if it’s from the photo or the feeling in her chest but there’s a warmth that wasn’t there before. “This is…”

“Pretty, I guess.” Max casually shrugs and Victoria’s head snaps up at the word. Just when she thinks that a smile looks cute on Max, she’s annoyingly adorable with a smirk too. “Pretty awesome.” She’s teasing. The hipster actually heard her and she’s flaunting it and Victoria should be mad at anyone who dares talk back to her but all she can think of is how Max is obviously flirting with her and she’s so happy that even her scowl looks friendly enough.

This is her chance! She can feel it with her heart beating so fast. Victoria has never run in her life aside for fitness but her heart is hammering wildly like it does when she jogs. Except she’s not running right now but it’s something similar. This is a chase and Max is her target and she can swear that she’s so close. She swears she almost feels it with her fingertips like how hers is brushing over the photo. The mood is set and the setting is just right. She’s going to do this and she’s going to get this right. She can’t mess this up now.

“Pretty amateur, smallfield.” And great, we’re back to gradeschool flirting again. Victoria represses the urge to just hit herself for being so lame. Really? Is that the best she can give? And what’s with that stupid nickname? She panicked okay. She has boys wrapped around her finger but she can’t fucking compliment a hipster girl that she likes without burying it under seven layers of insult.

“Still pretty.” Max insists with a smaller but still cute smile. She then takes back the photo and places it securely in her bag. Victoria tries not to think too much about the fact that she might even see the photo on the wall of Max’s room. “I guess it was nice talking to you, Victoria.”

“Yeah and you’re such a delight yourself. Get out of my face.” Victoria almost praises herself because the first sentence is the closest thing she’s gotten to an actual compliment. Max is already walking away but Victoria waits until she’s out of sight. Too bad she isn’t out of mind. Max calling her pretty is up there on her best-memories list next to their Avedon-moment. Max is also coincidentally on her to-do list.

God, she’s so fucking smitten.